Known for his wit, many of Oscar Wilde's insults are too convoluted to throw out during an argument, but these one-liners have got you covered!
- Good novelists are much rarer than good sons (On a New Book on Dickens). This is number one because, whether you are a novelist, a son, or both, this is mean.
- Like most artificial people he had a love of nature (Pen, Pencil, and Poison). It is far more genuine to admit that you hate camping, then go to the movies instead.
- Nothing is so dangerous as being too modern. One is apt to grow old-fashioned quite suddenly (An Ideal Husband). I love that one for what it says about those who bought the first iPod, or iPhone, and how proud I was to own the first Sony discman.
- There is no reason why a man should show his life to the world. The world does not understand things (De Profundis). I almost left this out because it seems to insult the world. In context it is about the love that dare not speak its name and the reason Oscar Wilde went to prison, but it is true of many people who tweet, or instagram every moment of their day. Someone once beautifully called such behaviour remembering the present. Yet, Twitter and Instagram are full of haters and looking for validation that way is idiotic.
- Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong (Lady Windermere's Fan). It's funny if you know that sensation or hearing the words you want to hear and realizing not only how stupid those words sound, but also how stupid you were for wanting to hear them.
- I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result (The importance of Being Earnest). Reminds me of a guy I dated once who spent ages adjusting the way his t-shirt fell around the waistband of his jeans.
- Books of poetry by young writers are usually promissory notes that are never met (On Yeats' 'The Wandering of Oisin'). This one just gives me the biggest Lily Allen smile.
- Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner (The Picture of Dorian Gray). Sometimes people really do seem to seek applause, when they are asking for forgiveness.
- It is only the intellectually lost who ever argue (The Picture of Dorian Gray). I would do well to remember this when perusing reader comments on the internet.
- Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike (An Ideal Husband). I find few things less attractive than people who condemn the lives of other people.
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